I Like To Keep My Issues Drawn
by thelilacfield
Summary: How could they not notice that Blaine was so close to the edge he would consider ending it all with a simple swallow? Warning: non-graphic suicide


Based on theory #2 of my theories about what could happen to halt ND's performance at Regionals.

**Warning: **Attempted suicide (non-graphic)

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I Like To Keep My Issues Drawn (Until You Have To Notice)

Finn's standing proudly in the wings, bobbing his head along to the beat as he watches the eleven official members of New Directions and Harry, one of their guitar players, dancing expertly on stage, the audience clapping with the rhythm and grinning on the group.

He swears under his breath when his phone starts to ring, ducking into one of the dressing rooms to take the call. "Kurt? Listen, can you call me back, we're in the middle of the performance and I-"

"Is Blaine there?" Kurt asks immediately, and Finn falls into surprised silence, perplexed as to why Kurt would be asking after the boy he's been steadfastly ignoring and not talking about for over a month now.

"Nope, but I don't know where he is, he didn't show up to the final rehearsal this morning, and we had to rope Harry in to meet the twelve member requirement," he answers after a long moment of silence. Kurt's next breath down the line is shuddering, as if he's holding back tears, and Finn is immediately concerned. "Kurt? Are you okay?"

"Finn, Blaine, he…I got a call from the Lima Hospital this morning, because I didn't realise I'm still his emergency contact," Kurt explains softly, voice cracking and hitching with every other word as Finn clutches the phone closer to his ear, knuckles turning white with the tightness of his grip. "He…he tried to _kill_ himself, Finn. He took an overdose and waited to die. His neighbour came over and found him when she heard their dog barking and scratching at the bathroom door. And his parents…his fucking _parents_ aren't even there to help him!"

Kurt breaks down on the other end of the line, and Finn swipes angrily at his eyes, because no matter how old he gets or how far apart they are, his brother being upset will never fail to make him miserable along with him. "Kurt, just calm down, please don't cry," he begs, straining one ear to hear the final notes of the song, from a stage that seems so far away from the cold clash of reality. "I'm going to stop the show, okay, and I'll tell them what happened and I'll go and check on him. I'll pretend I'm his brother to get information if I have to, and I'll call you straight back when I know more."

Kurt hangs up with a few half-words, choked with tears, and Finn slips his phone back into his pocket as he walks purposefully out onto stage and takes the microphone from its stationary stand, telling the audience, "I'm very sorry, ladies and gentlemen, but New Directions will not be performing any other songs. Just sit tight for a few minutes and another group will be on to perform in just a moment." He gestures to a confused Ryder and Marley, who draw the curtains across, hiding the angry, belligerent faces of the group from the audience.

"What the hell, Finn?!" Jakes exclaims, folding his arms with a glare. "How are we supposed to win this competition if we only perform one song? We had a full setlist planned out!"

"We aren't going to perform any more numbers because one of our own is in serious trouble and the group I was part of wouldn't have stuck around to perform while an integral member of the group is in hospital," Finn says, looking around to see comprehension dawning in their eyes, bright smiles and wide excited eyes collapsing into quivering lips and tears threatening to spill over frantically blinking eyelids. "Kurt just called me: Blaine attempted suicide. He's in hospital at the moment, and I'm going to see if he's all right. If any of you want to come too, that's perfectly find. If you don't, you're welcome to go home."

Sam's the first to say anything, pulling his phone from his chest pocket despite the fact that Finn told them to leave their mobiles in the dressing rooms. "I'm going to call Burt," he says loudly, already dialling and pressing the device to his ear. "He can get information instead of anyone pretending to be related to him."

Finn nods at Sam's infallible logic, and turns only to have a sobbing Sugar fall on him, wrapping his arms uncertainly around her as she cries into the front of his shirt, smearing him with thick stage make-up as a tearful Tina and Brittany cling to each other, both looking a little shell-shocked behind the veil of tears.

"But he seemed so happy," Marley says softly, wrapping her arms around herself and casting her eyes down.

"The ones who are the most miserable always hide it the best," Unique points out, reaching out to squeeze Marley's shaking hand. "How could we not notice?"

It's the question that rings deep in Finn's soul, as he ushers the eleven out of the auditorium and to back stage, where Unique, Kitty, Jake, Ryder and Joe all change into their normal clothes and leave with insistences for someone to contact them the moment they have any news. Sam is still talking to Burt, Brittany's head buried in his shoulder, and Tina and Marley are exchanging tissues where they sit together, and Artie stares dazedly into the distance, hands bunched, white-knuckled, in his lap.

How could they not notice that Blaine was so close to the edge he would consider ending it all with a simple swallow?

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Poor Blaine, my poor poor angel cupcake :'(

Hope you enjoyed, and if you did, please let me know.


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